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Anjoola's Website Short Stories A Visitor from Time

A visitor from time greets Niu, a rather unintelligent and obscenely rich young girl. The visitor educates her about hyperspace leaps, in which, unfortunately, Niu promptly disbelieves.

Niu was the most unusual girl that anyone had ever met. Unlike most of the students at Ropip Dragon High School, Niu always walked around unshod, unprepared, and uninterested about school. This resulted in sore feet, a low grade point average, and a slight forlorn look on her face. She always thought school was a waste of time, especially when teachers gave students free time to do their homework. Niu had a philosophy that if one did not work laboriously in class, then that class was a waste of time. Those classes were more of a waste of time when students whipped out their iPods and danced to the announcement promo videos. Niu however, did not carry an iPod. She always thought those were detrimental to ultrasound-hearing capabilities, and she detested anyone who jangled along with his or her iPod. Daily, Niu would harbor feelings of nostalgia for those old days when iPods had not been invented yet. Unfortunately, the amount of people without iPods was dwindling, and it was ineluctable that one day everyone would have one – and Niu would hate them all!
One particularly gloomy day, Niu was pondering about the recent outbreak of UFO sightings, and what effect those sightings had on her ability to make tortillas. For Niu was an avid maize-planter, and she never wasted a moment to water and delightfully complement her beautiful maize seeds. The week before, an assessor came and inspected Niu’s land, jubilantly declaring that Niu’s soil was the best in the country. The assessor promptly awarded Niu with a bag of nuts and a pat on the back. Niu’s confidence on her skills as a maize was resurgent; she gradually began becoming more egoistic as she awed at her amazing growing skills. As she wiped her drool and shook herself out from her reverie, Niu rubbed her eyes and stood up. Far beyond the horizon, a faint blur could be detected, sometimes rippling, and other times disappearing completely out of view. The blur came closer, faster than the speed of light. Niu was transfixed with terror; were those the UFOs that people have been sighting recently? Tremulous, Niu uncertainly picked up her watering tin and fled back into her castle. Her flight from the supposed-UFO seriously affected her; Niu could hardly breathe, let alone keep her head up. Finally, her eyelids began to flag, then gradually closed as her mouth made a disturbing snoring sound.
She awoke to a sudden crash outside the boiler room. Grabbing her socks (for she wore no shoes), Niu dashed madly out to the entrance of her castle garden. The entire front area was desolate; not a single thing visible was living, because everything had died, as if from a radioactive poisoning from a deuterium bomb. At the corner of the castle gate, Niu spotted a small habitation, small enough that a skinny squirrel might have trouble living in. Furious, she stomped over to the apparent entrance of the habitation.
With a great show of emotion and frustration, Niu put her hands on her hips and declared loudly, “You squatter, what are you doing living on my castle ground without my permission? I’ll have you beheaded and sent to the Royal Prison immediately!”
There was a distortion of the air, and a large figure appeared. It was a man, about the age of 340, with a distinct ragged old cloak. “Why young lady,” he said, “what is all the ruckus about? I was just enjoying my daily hyperspace leap.”
“Hyperspace leap?! HYPERSPACE leap? What are you talking about old man?” Niu shouted. “You are on MY land without MY permission! Why don’t you enjoy your HYPERSPACE leap somewhere else? Like in a public restroom?”
“Oh calm down dear lady! I did not mean to settle on your land without your permission. I am merely here to inform you about my mission to educate the world about the fourth dimension.”
Niu collapsed, rolling on the ground laughing. “Fourth dimension! Ahaha! You must be going nuts old man! There IS no fourth dimension!”
The man shook his head impatiently. “Young lady, if you do not calm your composure and listen to me, then I’m afraid I might have to punish you.”
“What can YOU do, old man? Blink at me?”
“Why, what insolence you are showing. I might have to resort to old-fashioned spanking.”
Niu couldn’t take it any longer. She began having a fit as the laughs came out before she could breathe. The old man couldn’t take it any longer. He picked Niu up by her stockings, and began spanking her.
Sensing that the man was telling the truth, and wasn’t going to stop spanking, Niu cried out, “All right old man, I will listen to you, if only you would stop spanking me!” The man smiled triumphantly, and began rummaging around for his briefcase.
Finally locating it, the man, whose name was Dictionary, made an important cough and ruffled his papers. “Now listen to me. You, a girl of the third dimension, might find the fourth dimension an impossibility, a crazy idea made up by an old man. Well I am here to tell you the truth. There is a fourth dimension, and I come from it.”
Niu (for she was very smart and already had an Ph.D in cosmology) scoffed and dismissed Dictionary with a wave of her hand. “I’ve read about this fourth dimension, some dead guy named Pinkowski thought of this idea. Who cares? He’s dead anyway.”
The old man was disappointed, for he was sure that this intelligent but brash young woman would understand. He could only travel down to the third dimension once every 100 years, and was sure that this time his efforts would not be in vain. He sighed, and began again: “Look here lady. Imagine that you could travel from your castle to your school in less than a nanosecond. It is simple if you think about the fourth dimension, time. If you could travel forward in space, your length, width, and height, then you could also travel backwards in time, hence lessening the time it takes to travel to your school.”
Niu rolled her eyes and grumbled, “Yeah old man, I learned that in preschool. Can you just leave my castle, or do you want me to call my palace guards?”
Dictionary insufflated, and with a show of hands, gave up. “If you don’t believe me, then I will show you.” He straightened his cloak, and jumped. Niu gasped in awe as the man disappeared from her view, only to appear on top of the castle gate.
The old man, who did not have an iPod and had not lost his ultrasonic-hearing abilities, heard the gasp and smiled. He finally made a breakthrough. Perhaps he could retire now and enjoy a nice vacation in Betelgeuse. Dictionary straightened his cloak again, and appeared in front of Niu. “Now do you believe me? Or do you still need proof?”
Niu smiled an all-knowing smile. “Oh, I have enough proof, thanks. Would you be so kind as to sit there on my 24-karat gold garden bench while I ready my camera? I want to commemorate this visit from such a distinguished guest.”
The old man blushed, and adjusted his cloak tie supremely, ignorant of the weapon Niu hid in her socks. Niu took out the graphing calculator, and bonked Dictionary on the head. He died upon impact.
Those who do not want to accept the truth do all they can to deny it. Or get rid of it.

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