The Fat Woman
When finishing her daily, leisurely stroll, an
extremely fat woman returns home and takes out two amazing objects. From
these objects pop out even more amazing items...
An extremely large
woman wobbled down the street. Her name? This will remain confidential
until the authorities deem it necessary to reveal the name of this woman.
Now the woman was on a diet (for she was so obese that her fat hung over
the edges of her waist and her legs were so large that it was painful to
walk), and had to eat grapefruits with grapes, grape
juice, grape-cranberry pie and grape wine. She also had a daily routine of
walking two meters a day. This reduced much of her weight, although she
was still a couple of tons above her recommended weight.
leisurely strolls, the woman would take deep breaths and soak up her
surroundings. However, since her neck was a bit large, her vision
was limited to the sky and her nose. Thus she liked to wear pink shoes.|
One day, the woman
was on her 1.4537468746th meter, she looked up in the sky, and saw type-48
cloud. Now, like people who have different types of cars or cell phones,
this woman had different types of clouds. Since she looked up for about
twenty-six hours a day, there were many clouds to observe. She categorized
many clouds; in fact, over five hundred of them. Type-1 to type-4 were the
white puffy clouds that made you sleepy. Type-6 was the cloud that looked
like a llama. Type-47 to type-126 were the clouds that were black to
grayish in color; the clouds that poured dihydrogen-oxide onto unaware
people. Type-249 to type-485 were the clouds that appeared during a
hurricane or a tornado. Since she lived in Florida, the woman had seen
many hurricanes, and dreaded them all.
Today's cloud was
type-46, meaning it was the grayish cloud that made the sky dark and did
not pour water, but was the cloud that was kind of puffy yet cyclone
shaped. Shrugging, the woman finished the 0.5462531254 meters left of her
walk, and stopped. Slipping off her shoes, the woman went into her house
and took out some strange objects. These baubles shone with a brilliance
matched only by Rigel and Einstein.
Suddenly - BOOM! These objects exploded to reveal something
fantastic - a piece of poop. Now poop - back in the fat woman's
day, was very valuable. For poop contained the basic
necessities of the life of a mosquito's larvae, and
it provided hours of delightful learning about the human
excretory system. Followed by the poop came a strange object.
It was rectanglish with grayish buttonishes with numberish and
letterish numbers and letters inscribed on the buttonishes. On
the top of the rectanglish thing was a reddish buttonish with a
halfish circlish thingish with a linish coming out from the
And there was a eraser. Since today was April 15th, which is
the final day for taxes and Rubber Eraser Day, the eraser had
an immense responsibility in ending this dumb story. So it did.
With a great big swish, the eraser erased the entire
second half of the half of the half of
the story. All around the world people cheered as this tedious
little story came to an end. From this day forward, this day
became known as Thanksgiving Day.
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